Please note: Because the content of this episode involves sensitive topics, like suicide, sexual assault, and abuse, the podcast platforms required that it is marked as “Explicit” or “18+”. Please note, however, that this episode is similar to all other episodes and does not swear, etc.

"I would take a test, and it would be negative. And I would look at it close and I'd be like, 'There's a line, there's a line, I know it.' And Brandon would be like, 'I don't see one.' And then I would just sob, and I would be so sad, and I would just think, 'This is never going to happen for us.' > I'd tell him all the time, 'I'm so sorry that this is... like, I know that you knew about this when we were engaged and dating, but I don't think you really knew.' And he was like, 'What are you apologizing for? We're good. We'll make it work. I'm good with taking care of kids that need families.' He really did lift me up."

"I have three master's degrees, I have a PhD, and I have a great job... It’s not that I’m not successful. It’s just that, in my mind, I feel like I should always be doing more, and yet I don't have the motivation to do more. And that's the worst thing about it—the constant feeling that you should be doing more, but lacking the motivation to actually do it."

"I have the autism side where I need a checklist, I need a plan, I need a framework. And then I have the ADHD side of me that says, 'Dave, you need things to be different.' So for me, it's about making sure that I get that excitement of completing something that's relatively boring—like taking a shower.

I've actually found myself in many cases vocalizing aloud: 'Task completed.' And sometimes I like to say it like a robot. 'Task... completed.' You might be like, 'Dude, this guy is weird, he's crazy!' But that is what works for me."

"Healing for me... is not moving on from something. I want to continue to be attached to Emily, just like Leslie wants to be attached to Chad. We're not going to move on from them, but we can move forward in a healthy manner. Our children deserve to have a healthy life... The healing process is not going to end; it's going to continue. And I'm going to integrate this old life into my new life and make a life that is beneficial—beneficial to those around me, beneficial to those that I can potentially help or share the story with."

“ ‘I don't know how else to do it, I've tried these other options, I just don't know how to make this pain stop’ ... and so, they get in that mindset where they're like, 'Oh, this is probably the best thing for me.' Sometimes they'll justify it by like, 'This is probably a better option for my family,' and that's where they get into that."

"I like to think of it as... the kids in the car analogy. Let’s say that you go get in your car, you load up your kids, you’re driving down the road... and all of a sudden the kids are in the back seat: 'Hey, you’re breathing my air, you’re touching me, Mom, Dad, he’s bothering me.'

And so then Dad pulls the car over at a rest stop and says, 'Alright, you kids get out. You’re going to go over here, you’re going to go over here, and you’re just going to figure it out.' And then when we come back together, then you get along again.

And that’s kind of the way that the body is—is that for a brief period of time... your mind and body are able to heal without the interference of each other, and then when they come back together, they get along a little bit better."

I spent years trying to use a map for London while I was trying to drive in Tokyo. Both are great cities, but the directions just don't work if you've got a map for the wrong city.

"If I would have tried to control that situation, we would not be together today. She needed to go through this... and if I would have tried to control the situation, it would have pushed her away 100%." — Kody Holt

Dave Harris: "It feels to me like probably at some point in everybody's life they have to go through a faith crisis. It may look different for other people... but I think at some point every one of us needs a set of trials that are going to be extremely challenging for us."

Tifani Holt: "Something I've learned from all of this is to be kind to everybody... because even if it looks like they're having a hard time or going through something that you don't really want to get involved in... just let them go through it. Be there for them and love them... because this is probably something that they need to go through and they need to learn their own way."

I have no problem talking to 100,000 people at a time. But the difference is, when I'm talking to you, all I have in front of me is a microphone and a camera. I don't know who all of you are... But you put me in a situation where I have to talk one-on-one with somebody, and that scares the daylights out of me. It just makes me so scared. Now, having said that, how about a group of people? Even worse. How about a room full of people that I need to interact with them on an individual basis? Holy moly, just the thought of it makes me freak out.